WholesomeWear

The prayers of the religious fundamentalist and the frumpy beachgoer alike have now been answered by WholesomeWear, “modest clothing for wearers”. Whether it be church camp, fat camp, or church fat camp, they’ve got you covered — and I mean covered!

Gone are the days of being dragged to the bottom of the lake by heavy, woolen full-body swimwear (except for witch trials, where wool and drowning are still encouraged). With WholesomeWear, it’s space-age fabric meets dark-age sensibilities! For example, the Culotte Swimmer features a “body fitting undergarment made of Spandex for maximum flexibility”, while a “looser fitting taslan scoop-necked romper outer garment gives a stylish modest look.”


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