Savor the Santorum

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Thanks, Julian, for making sure I didn’t miss National Santorum Awareness Week! Evil, liberal Austin must have blinded me with a blissfully ignorant veil of unawareness! [Hmmmm… E-V-I-L. V-E-I-L. Coincidence or liberal conspiracy? We know what you’re up to!]

National Santorum Awareness Week

And thank you, Conservatives for American Values, for declaring this Holy week of Observance, and for your reverent review of Senator Santorum’s seminal book, It Takes a Family. It does indeed Take a Senator Named Santorum.

Robertson Blames Katrina on Ellen

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Holy shit, I thought Pat Robertson had flipped when he called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez,

“If he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it … It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. And I don’t think any oil shipments will stop.”

which Chavez humorously dismissed with offers of medical and fuel aid to the U.S. poor,

“The level of poverty in the United States also worries us. We offer not only to cover 6 million people with medical care over the next ten years, but to train over 200,000 doctors over the 10 years.”

and for which Robertson later offered a half-assed “apology”.

“I didn’t say ‘assassination.’ I said our special forces should ‘take him out.’ And ‘take him out’ can be a number of things, including kidnapping; there are a number of ways to take out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP [Associated Press], but that happens all the time.”

Riiiight… [I also enjoyed William F. Buckley’s editorial on the matter, including a look at the U.S. government’s involvement with assassination of foreign leaders in the past.]

But apparently Robertson was only warming up, because now he has publicly claimed that Hurricane Katrina was God’s way of expressing its anger at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for its selection of Ellen Degeneres to host this year’s Emmy Awards.

“By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath. Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?”

Wow. If that weren’t enough, apparently the 9/11 attacks are Ellen’s fault too.

“This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards. America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”

Well, if Robertson is right, things don’t look good for America. A recent study indicates that more women are experimenting with bisexuality than a decade ago, paving the way for even more lesbian celebrities.

Olbermann’s Katrina Smackdown

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Just watched the video clip of the MSNBC Countdown with Keith Olbermann editorial smackdown of our government – at all levels – for its handling of the Katrina disaster. I’ve never watched the show before, and imagine it’s highly sensationalized, but he makes several excellent points, such as:

  • “this is the Law and Order and Terror government. It promised protection — or at least amelioration — against all threats: conventional, radiological, or biological. It has just proved that it cannot save its citizens from a biological weapon called standing water.”
  • “Anybody seen the Vice President lately? The man whose message this time last year was, ‘I’ll Protect You, The Other Guy Will Let You Die’?”

Evangelical Physics

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The Onion has delivered yet another breakthrough story in scientific news, Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New ‘Intelligent Falling’ Theory:

“Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, ‘God’ if you will, is pushing them down,” said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

In other religious news, the NY Times reports that city health officials are questioning a circumcision ritual after a baby died of herpes.

“This is a very delicate area, so to speak,” said Health Commissioner Thomas R. Frieden.

The practice is known as oral suction, or in Hebrew, metzitzah b’peh: after removing the foreskin of the penis, the practitioner, or mohel, sucks the blood from the wound to clean it.

Um, yeah, and here I thought hospital circumcision was gross and stupid. At least I learned the Hebrew for “baby penis blood sucking”.

Speaking of insanity, I was watching the “It puts the lotion in the basket” video again when decided to browse elsewhere on Transbuddha and ran across the Smart Stick Adventure 2 game. It’s super fun!